And we're on Step 5

A month to the day after I started PlayPianoFluently Step 4, I started Step 5.

I think what was holding me in Step 4 for a while was worrying about keeping my fingers' "sense of space" or "proprioception" permanent. That is, as soon as I walked away from the piano and then walked back, my fingers' "sense of space" in the keyboard should have persisted. Also, I think it was wrong to expect to never have to look at the keyboard at all...EVER... and keep the sense of where my fingers were after just walking up to any keyboard. Pretty absurd!

I realized a few days ago that I could keep the sense of where my fingers were, once I orientated myself in front of the keyboard and got an initial key played (like playing "middle C" or something). Then, while I was sitting at the piano, the proprioceptive sense in my fingers would stick (as long as I focused on it).

Letting go of the idea that I had to keep that sense "permanent" (even after walking away) allowed me to finally move beyond Step 4 to the next step.

I'm really enjoying the current step. It has memorization in it (remembering tonal blocks). I have all the tonal blocks from this step memorized already; just need to make them permanent. Also, I haven't started the improvisation portion of step 5... where you improvise over the tonal blocks. 

I'll probably be on step 5 for at least a few weeks. Currently, I don't forsee any roadblocks to mastering the step.

Piano Fluency - Into Step 4!

 My Play Piano Fluently training seems to be going pretty well. I've recently started working on Step 4--Improvising on 3 and 4 Key Blocks.

For a few weeks, I seem to have been stuck on Step 3... but it was because I had not been connecting my conscious awareness of the blue and red groups in the "keyboard map" to the physical keyboard in front of me.

This graphic is finally how I started to see things... while looking straight ahead, I would try to "sense" each of those blue and red group "shapes" and then notice where the fingers I had played in those groups were located. This is how to connect tonality and location.--all much better explained in the materials. 

If I can just keep those shapes "sensed" where the graphic shows them, I'll be able to "map" the groups into my body--as the method explains.

So far, I'm about 7 weeks into the method. Phil Best (the creator of the method) mentions that to get through all 15 steps, it takes (on average) 3 years. If I continue at the same rate, I'll be through the course in 21 more weeks. Of course, that's probably not possible because of two things 1) some steps will be much more involved than the early steps... there's a lot of meat on the bones 2) there will be unforseen breakages and stoppages in my schedule where I will not be able to practice--for perhaps days at a time. 

I hope not. Hope I'm able to finish this method (eventually) and become a fully fluent pianist!

Continuing piano fluency training...

So, the information in Phil Best's Play Piano Fluently method isn't the kind of information that can be absorbed simply by reading or watching. You have to not just read and watch the instructions, but you have to "do the work" as instructed. By "doing the work," I've found that instruction that might "seem" understandable on first blush or listen can actually change in my mind. Something will "click" as the work is being done. This has happened a couple of times since the last blog post. I believe that this "discovery" way of learning is far more effective than trying to nail down an exact meaning by pestering the teacher.

The course is ingeniously laid out in 15 steps, each step building upon previous steps. I'm currently forging ahead to Step 3, and have had a few epiphanies during the past couple of weeks. (If you'd like a summary of the steps, you'll probably need to purchase the course. It's very affordable).

Play Piano Fluently is built upon awareness techniques. For Step 2, I've begun to use "listening awareness"--pretty much a hyper-conscious real-time awareness of what sounds are being made by the keyboard. This allows me to feel the rhythm cells I'm playing and know exactly what they are in terms of musical vocabulary. (For a definition of "rhythm cells," you can peruse Phil's site). Previously, I'd been trying to use a "visual awareness" or some other cue to keep track of the rhythm cells.

The second epiphany just happened yesterday, and I'm even more excited about it... because it opened up Play Piano Fluently's Step 3.

You don't have to learn how to "touch your nose." You should be able to do it without looking. Likewise, if trying to become a fluent pianist, one needs to have a similar relationship with the keyboard. Previously, I had been trying to generate or keep a visual of a small section of the keyboard in my mind's eye and then try to "see" where my playing finger was in that. Too complicated and missed the point. I just needed to realize that the piano keyboard "block of keys" I was concerned with was stationary... in other words... not moving and right in front of me--just like my nose is right where I left it. I was supposed to be able to start anywhere within that particular "block of keys" and know where I was.

Now, the words to get me to practice like that were all available in Phil's course. Everything to get me to think like that and practice like that was there. Only, I interpreted what was written as a sort of need to see something in my mind's eye. Without the "stationary" idea... the idea that the things I'm interacting with are not moving... nothing was "clicking" in my head. Yet, much like the picture of the two silhouettes facing each other that look like a vase when you switch perspectives, I didn't see it that way.

Now that I understand what Phil was getting at, I'm confidently practicing away and feeling that I'm making some really good progress. I don't need to visualize my nose to touch it; I don't need to visualize blocks of keys to play them. I just need to know "where they are" and have my fingers and hands know this as instantly as they know where my nose is. And it's easy--because the keys are right where I left them.

Piano Practice ...

 ... wait... what? 

Wasn't this an art blog? Yeah... but... long story short... I'm one guy, and nobody needs more than one blog. Also suddenly, I have things to write that aren't about art. Here goes.

Early Piano Education

I began piano studies at age 5. A nice lady showed me how to make a fist and "roll" my knuckles along the three black keys on the keyboard. Then, she showed me how to play "Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater" with just the black keys. I may have gotten more out of that than any subsequent piano lesson in my life.

We moved when I was 8 to a rural Pennsylvania town. It was the late 1970s... before the internet and the new information age. I began taking in-person lessons from a very nice older lady at her well-kept home. She was very, very patient and I was supposedly one of the more "gifted" students she had. But, I felt like I struggled despite her very careful attention. She would tap out rhythms with a Bic pen on the opened key lid while I sat next to her and played her piano--from my John Thompsons' books. But my mind would wander... the bland sounds I was making didn't excite me. I was also simultaneously trying to follow her instructions in real time... which made a mess of my playing. Despite this... I still had a deep desire to become a great musician... but had other factors working against me.

The first was that I had no piano at home to practice on. No keyboard, nothing. Occasionally I could steal away after church and try to find a piano in an abandoned room to practice on--if the key lid hadn't been "locked." Or, if my grandma wasn't full of bourbon, I could go to her place, play her piano and listen to her drunkenly correct me from the other room.

So, my only hope to make my sweet piano teacher lady happy was to somehow magically perform the pieces on her piano as if I had already practiced. This went on for about 6 years. Despite the difficulty, I did manage to take "exams" as it were on the piano from the National Piano Playing Auditions guild. I don't remember any of those exams... but I must've done it about two or three times. I have no idea how my teacher actually felt about my playing. I guess I stopped the lessons around age 14. I didn't make it very far into the John Thompson's Book 3.... though she supplemented my materials over the years with books like "Tunes You Like" and others.

Becoming a musician--almost

I've tried (over the years) to create music, with varying degrees of success. With my basic understanding of tones and rhythms given me on the piano, I could piece together songs on guitar/keyboard and even use some drum machines for a beat. I did this for about a decade and a half starting in the mid 1990s--during the grunge rock craze. During this time, I sought out more information about recording and not music making itself... and found a vast community of musical "friends" that I'm still friends with today.

Needless to say, my music hasn't become "famous." The work that people like the best is probably this video I made four Christmases ago. But, it didn't go viral. It wasn't the internet sensation I ostentatiously hoped it might be.

Becoming a "fluent" musician?

Fast forward to today. The pandemic is dragging everyone's heart on the ground. Stress is everywhere. Internally, I've been a tightly-focused ball of thorns and spikes. Creativity is stopped almost completely... it's hard to want to create when your focus is on survival and on the rank stupidity of the elected leaders.

But, I recently decided that I resent having my life guided by fear and that I'd like to become that musician I always wanted to be... while sitting on my piano teacher's bench and clumsily hammering out some woeful Mozart approximation. I felt the need to "re-learn" the piano.

I did an internet search for "pattern-based piano learning" or something. Maybe it was "non-traditional piano method." I don't know. But it led me the comments on a YouTube video. In those, someone mentioned a method championed by a guy named Phil Best called Play Piano Fluently. (It wasn't one of Phil's own YouTube videos, actually...)

I checked out the page, and it seemed like what I'd been looking for for decades. I wondered to myself if I could follow his method. So I purchased materials and started roughly three weeks ago. And the reason I decided to post something today is that I think I've figured something out within the method, and I'm excited to write it down.

"INTENTION" is the key

Here are the raw thoughts I've had about the method. You may want to reference Phil's site to get some context:

(when practicing) ... if you don't feel the key(s) you are playing, it will come off as artificial. It's like the teacher's pet giving the pat answer to a well-known question. There's no internal emotional source or response. There's no emotional statement. Why make your fingers "say" things they don't mean? If you play something disconnected from feeling, it will not work... and trying to keep track of what you're saying will be impossible. It would be like blurting out a barrage of nonsense words and trying to make sense of them as you go. If, however, you intend a "word" of meaning... a single note in a block... with a particular rhythm... then it will be almost trivial to keep track of "what was said" and "what could be said next."

(intend every note!)

So even when doing little practices... every key pressed should be intended. It should connect with something inside. It should be motivated from your embodied feelings--because the body will keep the feeling there... it can't be forgotten in the moment. If, on the other hand, you were reciting a poem in a different language (without even knowing what it meant)... then there is no embodied feeling and nothing will work. There is no connection, which means that concentrating on rhythm and tone will be much, much more difficult.

(use whatever feeling you are having RIGHT NOW)

I've noticed that I might feel hungry... or sleepy... or weary... or bored... sometimes when sitting down to practice. Instead of being annoyed at my body's refusal to be happy and eager, I use those feelings and play each note "from those feelings" as they almost "erupt" from me. This seems to be very effective. I might just be writing hundreds of little songs about being hungry or tired every day--just while practicing!

Strangely enough, in those times, my focus seems to be much better than when I'm just attempting "steps"--when my practice is perfunctory. Everything seems to slide into place and I feel "at home." Practice in this way is more effortless, and I feel like I can "build" on the sensations

and experience that I'm having. My confidence grows--which motivates further practice.

All of this comes from true intention. None of it is "faked" and none of the "results" are presented to the teacher for a grade or mark. I know that the feelings I was having in the moment of practice were genuine. If all I do is translate that to the keyboard--put down rhythms that reflect those feelings (as well as tones)--then I am fluent. I can see how all of this fits together. It is brilliant.

I ask myself as I sit down to practice, "How am I feeling?" If I instantly know the answer, then I don't try to mask the feeling. I "feel" that way and from there I allow my hands to respond. If I don't know how I am feeling, why wouldn't I keep that question itself as the way I was feeling? I can embody the sense of "not knowing" and play from that. Even if I'm feeling "blank," I can use that. Or perhaps I could read a story that caused thoughts or feelings before I practice. All I must do, then, is feel. Then I create a conduit from those feelings to my hands. And things are starting to work.

Let's keep this going!

I'm just starting out... and perhaps these baby steps aren't exciting. But it feels good to me. I feel momentum.

I'm ever hopeful that this time (following the method as far as it takes me) I can come to be able to express my exact feelings and thoughts via the piano. So many false starts; so many botched methods and attempts. Confusion, and ever increasing complexity from the YouTube community surrounding piano "methods." Chord shapes; dozens of scales; none of it seemed to touch me. This is starting to do so. I'm 53 years old now. I hope to internalize this method before I die. I'm hoping that with a newly articulate voice I can help forestall what looks like the fall of Western democracy... or at least, to be able to tell my lady just how much I love her.

Chad

Time to Dominate

Switching my forum of choice to Tumblr, as it's easier to create a sketchbook type blog there.

basicallyawesometoons.tumblr.com

Lifelong pursuit of hot lines will continue there!

Lamenting...

...the loss of ConceptArt.org.

Gone are the days when you could go by the sketchbook forum and see the 75 threads on page one get turned over in 15 minutes. Gone are the days when you could see dozens of industry professionals rubbing elbows with (and sometimes helping) the n00bs among us.

For whatever reason, the powers that be over there decided they needed a design overhaul. They wanted (apparently) something that looked good on iPads.

So for approximately the last 18 months or so, that site has been through about a half dozen revisions... some of them very jarring and habit-breaking. (I hadn't been to the site in nearly a year because of all the upheaval). I'm guessing many other artists have left the site for similar reasons.

Recently I went back to kind of see what was up with the forum, and saw a sad shell of what remained of CA's previous glory.

I made a post lamenting the loss of the virtual art community in the open discussion forum, and started to get a little feedback from people who remained. Yet... apparently that post offended one of the higher ups, so it was summarily deleted.

I happened to capture the post from Google's cache after it was deleted. Here's what I wrote that was deleted:

ConceptArt.org has been an amazing place to visit and be a part of over the years. Members who have been here few years will remember just how vibrant a community it was for the longest time.

So many professionals and dedicated students sharing their work here seemed to overwhelm the site--the sketchbook forum alone getting enough posts to completely 'turn it over' in a matter of minutes. This was fantastic! In short, it was the people more than the format that made this a great site.

In contrast, we have deviantArt... which seems so much less personal. It seems too big for a community to form around a group of professionals and dedicated students like we used to have here.

If you post something on dA, your work must be good enough to capture the attention of people immediately and it must be tagged correctly, or it will quickly get lost.

Posting on dA is also more piece-centric, meaning that you post one piece at a time and your work is aggregated in a gallery instead of something like a sketchbook... which provides a nice chronology and conversation along with it.

Hopefully this post doesn't come off as a bemoaning of CA.org because the tradition of this site is something to be greatly respected.

However, as an artist I feel a lot more disconnected from the "community". At this point, I'm still interested in getting my work out there and hearing back from the community as well as seeing what's new out there from the greats as well as the hard working, dedicated student. It's not so much about critique as it is about the interaction with people who are 'doing it'. For others, I'm sure more critique would be welcome too.

Granted, it seems CA.org still has a community but whereas the activity here used to be a raging river it sadly appears to have become a trickle.

It seems unreasonable to me that such a beautiful community could have simply dried up and gone nowhere; has everyone gone on to something else? Is Behance the new/old CA.org? If there are other options out there, what are they?

Let me know your thoughts.

I went back to look at what remains of the once vibrant sketchbook group tonight... and it was a sad story. The thread bottom of the page was 18 hrs old... again, it used to "flip over" in about 15 minutes back in the hey day.

Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what the overall "level" of the artists were.

A quick "polling" of the data showed:

57 artists of amateur level
17 artists of intermediate level
1 artist of professional level (snatti)

This in stark contrast to what one might have seen even in 2010... where those numbers might have been flipped around a bit: 57 professionals, 14-5 intermediates, and 2 or 3 amateurs.

ConceptArt, I think, has changed visually too much for its own good. Why break what wasn't broken? The visual "upgrades" did really nothing to help the community... all we have as a result is a fraction of the community, which is mostly made up of amateurs now.

I long for the days of a good, solid artists community made up of people who were both skilled and hard working. Perhaps such communities (online) are gone forever.

RIP ConceptArt.org.

Portfolio

BTW.... my portfolio is now online

http://chadlehman.wix.com/portfolio

Character design

Stephen Silver's character design course is very good.

Did I improve from week 1 to week 9?