Cookin' now

Good, solid work is coming. Getting the taste for this back in my mouth. Stay tuned.

Oh, and I ordered one of these, too.

Transition to "Dedication" from "Motivation"

Have been working off and on doing drawing and design; not a lot of time right now. Understanding more about dedication and hard work.

It's those two things that push you through the anxiety of procrastination. You're a motivated artist if you feel that angst; if you know you want to be drawing something, but somehow can't. But, motivation alone isn't enough. Just that kick in the butt with no additional effort will lead to nothing except a sore ass.

You may be motivated to draw something, but fear that you can't draw it. You know what? You're absolutely right that you can't draw it! (YET) So grind through it. Figure it out. Be willing to suffer a bit (or a lot) and see where you can get. The word for that is "Dedication".

You're definitely going to have to spend the time getting over these obstacles; these difficult drawing problems. But the good news is that the more you do that, the better you get and the quicker the understanding comes. That's what I'm experiencing.

Just have to do it.

And, you have to plan it. Know what it is you want to create. Plan it out.

Then you'll know just what you're sacrificing when you start to procrastinate or waste time.


Peace,
C.

Voice

Have been studying the work of some really good digital artists. I've been analyzing the physical aspects of the work (composition/layout/shapes/relationships/unity/etc) and I'm getting somewhere; I'm learning.

In the past, other people haven't really "gotten" my finished pieces. My message wasn't understood; I got very little feedback. I'd always assumed something was wrong with my technique. Contrasting that with the same group's enthusiastic support of other artists, who didn't have great technique, I begin to understand something about artistic voice.

Again in contrast, there are some artists who really have amazing technique... they blow me out of the water. One guy in particular is very prolific; but he draws the same subject every time. I've seen thousands of  his finished pieces. Technical masterpieces, but the message is crass and unnecessary. Other people respond to his work the same way... either by ignoring it, or by half-assedly acknowledging it.

The inescapable conclusion is that while technique can add tremendous power to your artistic message, it can't take the place of it. You don't want to compromise your artistic voice and draw a bunch of stuff you know will be popular. However, you do need to find a clear way to communicate that people will identify with. You do need an audience for your work.

You can work in obscurity and amass a ton of work, ignoring the need for audience. The risk is that you won't be discovered or appreciated in your lifetime.

But; there are ways to become understood, I believe. If your mind is way different than that of the average person, you can lead them toward understanding with storytelling... comics, serials, even screenplays. First, you do need to understand that your mind is different from that of your audience. Then, you need to transport this audience from point A, where they're at, to point Z... where your mind is. Only then will they begin to understand your message.

If you really believe strongly in your message, it may be the only way you have to get people on board with your ideas. You may need to tell them stories to move their minds. THEN the one-off pieces you do.... the still lifes, the pinups, the portraits.... then they will begin to make sense to the average viewer. Then you have a chance to have an audience who appreciates your work, your voice, and you as an artist.

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On the drawing front, I am doing more... just nothing I can post here or on CA. Soon I hope to begin producing some stuff to share there and here.

Objectivity & Thanks

My thanks on this day: I'm thankful that I still have an arm to draw with, a heart to dream with, and a mind to believe with.

These tools will be necessary when I finally pull myself together again. I'm in the down cycle of art study/creation that everyone seems to go through.

I've lost objectivity about my work. I can't tell how much I suck, and I fail to appreciate apparent greatness at the same time. It may be Dunning-Kruger; it may be apathy. I haven't drawn a thing in almost two weeks.

There's nothing like master studies to re-adjust one's suck-o-meter. Maybe that's the key. I'm feeling kind of distant from my dreams. Once I've found the spark, I'll return and write my understandings about it.

Peace and happy holidays.

The "WHY" of Art

Here's a copy of something I posed to an instructor on a private workshop over at CGHub... it's how I've been feeling about art recently. I think I have a way forward now... cautiously optimistic...

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It seems the "workout/regimen" paradigm is alive and well among people learning art all over the internet. Recently, there's been something called a Deathline Challenge issued by a couple of members of ConceptArt.org... three very difficult and challenging one-year goals that you set for yourself.

I set some really high one year goals.... and broke them down by month, and then by week. I have several types of studies listed... and I have a weekly quota of "studies" to complete to take me where I want to go.

I started on this, but found that though I was really enjoying the work, I was taking too long and the quotas weren't getting filled.

So I decided to take a step back from all of this and think harder about the "why" of art. Why do it?

Studies are hard. Often, they're a mixture of hard and boring. Getting better is a nice feeling. But if you step back from art (like I have) and see what you've done in the past few months, will you like what you see?

I've been doing serious studies again since June of this year... and looking at my work, you see a mountain of studies yet very little work that I'm too proud of.

Why do I do art? Why do I care?

It's the love, like we've decided, right?

So why am I not drawing things I love--all the time?

This is the realization I've made--the cart is before the horse. Instead of thinking about study first, drawing  second... it should be the other way around. This means that my studies work for my imagination drawings, not the other way around.

An analogy would be working out in a gym versus playing your favorite sport. If you love soccer, and you go to the gym every day for 6 hours breaking every single muscle tissue down to try and get "huge"... when are you playing soccer?

Besides, do you really need to build huge biceps to play soccer? Do I need to know the intricacies of drawing eyelashes if all I'm ever going to do is paint impressionist paintings? (Maybe at some point the study would help..)

But maybe you can see my point of view here.

I can definitely see the logic in busting my backside becoming as "huge" as possible like some Arnold Schwarzenegger of art skills; but it wouldn't help my "soccer" skills.

I'm not aiming for a job as a concept artist. I think I'd like to do some humor-based graphic novels, and I would love to animate on a future 2D Disney movie. That's where I want to be.

Learning the figure is key; but if I don't draw figures from imagination, I'm not making mistakes... I'm not doing the "love" part, I'm not playing the sport. I'm sitting in a sweaty gym, smelling all of the dank air and not playing "soccer".

I do think studies (at least for me) have a very important role; but they should be specific to the problems manifested in the art that I'm doing in the moment... training an art skill in something I'm not working on is like getting huge biceps when training for soccer.

I'm not totally settled on this idea; but I think it provides me a way forward from here. It doesn't mean I'll be lazy; in fact, it means I'll get excited about drawing again and I'll do a lot more of it... like playing soccer, I'll fail a lot more, I'll lose the game a lot more, I'll fall on my face in the mud. But I'll take criticisms and work on my game when I'm not in there playing it.

Brain

Brain? Brain brain brain.

Do I have ideas? Has the brain lost the battle? Have I lost all coherency?

Have a think about this; in the "quest" to get a grasp on drawing, do we forget why? Why am I drawing? Why am I desperate to get better? To what end? Millions of dollars? Adoring fans? Sex by the mile? (A mile being a unit of length or distance, a distance of travel, I'm male, figure out the rest yourself... it's naughty)

Seriously. Why art? Why draw? Why broken ass, splintered fingers, spent money, wasted days, leaked fluids, dropped appointments, lost wages, feelings trampled, family ignored, people unconsidered, tasks undone, laundry unattended, trash unemptied?

Why? Why all of this effort and attention? Am I trying to fit a profile? Am I trying to be in a scene? Does the socialization have anything to do with it? If I couldn't post a thing, would I ever draw anything ever again?

Ultimately, I think the answer lies in that direction. Drawing is a communication. It's a form of communication meant to be used by those who have trouble communicating. There must be unspoken thoughts, undreamt demons, unexpressed heart-truths. These things have a way of itching through your skin from the inside, demanding a way out. And when they come out, they're often unrefined and rarely understood by anyone other than the source... than the one with all the trouble communicating.

I can't write well; and when I do, people don't care (as mentioned in my first blog post). They shouldn't have to.

I can't speak too well, and prefer not to. When speaking, I generally speak too much of myself... losing people's interest. I can keep their interest speaking only about them, but then the inner itchings continue unscratched.

Maybe it would be all the better if at the end of life I fade to dust, the clouds roll on for eons, the earth freezes, all sorts of atmospheric effects buffet and thoroughly bury any speck of remembrance of my essence. Maybe.

These things that want out of me aren't self concerned; they're loving, they want to embrace other people. Otherwise I might agree that I could just disappear and save the world my labored efforts at communication.

Drawing has always seemed like the best way to get to where I might have a chance at redeeming myself, and giving back to humanity. Something inside me urges me that way. My own shortcomings and brain brain brain are at odds with this, very often.

I have to find the path away from the malaise, and toward this eventual ability to give voice to the itchies.... because they're meant for the world--they love the world--they're not meant for my insides.

Bloody Stumps!

It's interesting just how much philosophy you can pick up when learning how to draw. The old masters certainly jotted down their philosophies and learning. Leonardo wrote down a great deal; Durer drew buckets of diagrams.

We have so much information on drawing technique, yet for each of us to actually make sense of and use this visual language, we must gain an individual grasp of the subjects of study. In other words, until a baby starts to mimic speech, and then speak with its own voice, it won't learn how.

We can read the books, blogs, and internet posts. We can watch all the Gnomon videos in the world. We can go to every atelier in the world and learn from the best teachers in the world. Yet without the singular experience of walking the path, there will always be some un-grasped concept in our understanding that can only be filled by the actual act of drawing.


This is just a side observation about the need to keep blogging every time I seem to have "solved art." I keep making discoveries as I go, and now I understand that that will continue as long as I keep drawing... forever.

So, even though we have zillions of bytes and books and neurons and megapixels of knowledge about art floating out there just within our reach, and even if we can consume and digest it ALL--each of us will always have to make new discoveries about how to draw from our own individual perspective... or we won't advance.

Now the main point:

Bloody Stumps.

Ever get bored with your work? Ever get anxious--wishing you could just sit down and draw, but the thought of it makes you nervous? Ever think that you'd much rather go watch a movie than sit down and do another study?

The reason is that your sub conscious mind hates to fail. It hates to lose, and it senses some "losing" coming along in your drawing life.

Your sub conscious mind seems very attuned to your drawing proficiency and weakness, and when your work starts to curtail in improvement, your sub conscious mind starts to sneak tiny bits of self doubt, little slices of procrastination, and small chunks of anxiety into your thoughts.

Very soon, you find yourself in the highly uncomfortable state of high anxiety about your progress. It becomes very stressful to think about how you're not improving your drawing ability, yet the very thing that gives improvement is the last thing you want to do.

Bloody stumps are the answer.

People preach this in a different ways all over the internet,though it's usually said something like:

Failure is good.

Van Gogh once said that learning to paint is like fighting your way through an invisible iron wall. I've always liked that analogy; but my wall is a 50 ft. marble wall, and every time I manage to scale it... another one awaits. Usually, there's a trail of blood from the top of the wall, down a short valley, right up to the next wall.

So you see what I'm saying, right? Once I've consciously recognized that my sub conscious mind is sabotaging me because it hates to fail... I can switch directions and go right back toward that marble wall, fingernails flexed, to climb that damn thing until I've got bloody stumps for fingers.

Bloody stumps.

So it's this: don't let your subconscious mind move you away from drawing and make you anxious. Instead, as soon as you start to feel this way, recognize that you're about ready to fail at drawing, but that it's a good thing. The only rule is to fail with a purpose; don't be half-assed. Fail only while trying to succeed. If you're conscious about trying to succeed when doing the "fail" drawings, eventually you will succeed.

Eventually, those bloody stumps will somehow stick to the wall, and you'll be able to pull yourself up over the top and jump into the air and kick your sub conscious mind in the butt.